Bradley and the City

6:31pm: Work or Overwork?
Over the last few years my involvement with several organizations has kept me busy. Being regional director, and curating exhibits, I dedicated a lot of time. Since I am self employeed, and help Chris out in his shop, it had become a thing that I literally dedicated to working 12 hour days to accomplish everything. When we decided to open my shop, I was thrust into a world of volunteering, working, Working after hours, every saturday and sunday and having no free or personal time. I felt guilty if I even thought about sewing or knitting as there was always something else I needed to be doing. Now that I have resigned one position, backed away on another and have completed my preparations of the store and have settled in, I find my self still attempting to pull the same schedule. Working to 7 or 8o'clock, going in on sunday etc....I really don't need to, but I need to figure out a better way to manage my time.

On a lighter note, My shop's open house was saturday and very successful!!!

10:03pm: Christmas, inspiration, and ideas
I adore this time of year. The preparations for the holidays. This, for me, is really about the journey. This year will be special, having a little extra time to make a few crafty things, bake some, savor and enjoy the experiences. Over the last 3 or 4 years, I haven't really had the time to do that. It's been too busy to slow down to do this. So over the last few years, I "observed" more, and plotted and planned looking at magazines.

Growing up, I remember looking at my mom's stack of old magazines with holiday ideas that she had saved from years past, from her own holidays. McCall's needlework magazines, her favorite, and mine were kept from year to year. In my collection, I have them from about 1958-about 1975. They are full of "timely" decorations, crafts, gift ideas, knitting patterns and food. Some have ideas for entertaining, and partys. The early ones really crack me up with christmas trees made of olives, cubed cheese and ham. So between the kistch ideas, there are great knitting patterns for Barbie and other dolls, ideas for "gingerbread" houses and elaborate "candy" castles. Also, there is something about the "color" of these images. It's warm, and just conjures of festive things in my head....memories of partys and christmas of long ago....Dreams of things I wanted (and didn't get) and deja vu moments of remembering things I did get, and only forgot.

The only thing that really compares now is the Martha Stewart Living magazine. The Christmas issue is always, always, my favorite. She makes some similar items that were done years ago, but they are done WELL, and presented well, to remove any "feel" of crafty-ness. This year, it will be great to actually get to make some of these ideas, have them inspire my projects, and follow through instead of doing what I call "long term research".

So look out...I'm in a "making" mood!

3:55pm: Preparation
I'm decorating the shop today for the holidays..it's early (well, actually not too early, some stores were decorated for Christmas BEFORE Halloween), but I need to get it done as time will fly by quickly.

I wrote an article for Doll News Magazine, and the editor, a die-hard antique doll collector, just called to complain that as a result of my article they are hooked. They went to a doll shop and bought vintage Barbie stuff...I got a good chuckle out of this.

I had to order some replacement inventory from Kathe Kruse as I have sold some of the stuff I had set aside for holiday..let's hope it continues to sell.

7:59am: Holiday Market
Each year in Greensboro they have the "Holiday Market", an event at the coliseum that brings in Christmas related items, food, wine, gift ideas, decorations etc. I haven't been in several years and my Mom and Jen really wanted me to go..So we made plans to do so.

When we got there 30 mins after it opened, it was so swamped. We sat in traffice for about 30minutes and decided to go shop a bit and have lunch before we attempted this....So we went to my favorite store and it was closed....So as time ticked away, we had lunch and then had to pick up Ella from school and we went to volunteer for the las 45 minutes of Emma's science class at her school. 21 7 year olds....Wow, what energy.

We finally made it to the Holiday market, but I must say that I had just as much fun at lunch and being with my mom and jen as I did going through the market.

My luncheon is at the museum today......Long day.

10:29pm: Museum Benefit
This Saturday I will be hosting a benefit luncheon for the museum. As a gift to the attendees I have created a special ensemble to fit a Barbie doll. Sort of a "modern" inspired Solo in the spotlight, utilizing materials and fabrics that are vintage, and have been part of my years of creating doll fashions. The group is shaping up to be some fun people, so I am looking forward to it.

My schedule is pretty full at the moment, so I am wondering how I would have handled all of this if I was still slave to the organization.

8:04am: the Come back.
I feel like I am making a "comeback" in my own life....Finally doing the stuff I used to do and love to do.

Sunday while visiting my mom and dad, mom and I walked out in the field and picked up persimmons. This harkens back to my childhood of this treat. When young, the "ripe" ones look mushy and shriveled, and really, you didn't think you should eat it...The "unripe" ones were bright orange and very firm...and the bitterness if you bit into it would turn your head wrongside out....It's a mistake you only make once.

So we picked up a small bucket of persimmons, then we mashed them through a sieve to get the pulp to make the pudding (pudding in the "british" style, not the jello form) so last night I used an old recipe (that was used by my grandmother) and made the persimmon pudding.

The house smelled so wonderful while it was baking.... and if I say so myself, it was yummy.

I'm ready to get back to cooking more.

1:19pm: Happy Halloween
Actually, I'll be glad when it's over. I've consumed about 1/2 the candy I had hoped to give out in my shop.

Tomorrow I think I am going to transistion the shop from Halloween to Christmas...Just do like the big retailers do (actually they have already done it, talk schizophrenic shopping, Target is halloween one aisle, Christmas the next) I have lots of sparkling things for Holiday so I am hoping this will be a great season. With few distractions, it should be a good season, I'll be able to focus.

My "reclaimed" time is being well spent. A few reconnections with friends, and I have been sewing (both machine and hand sewing) and I have made several things, completed several projects and I am working on getting back in the swim of things. Trying NOT to get lulled into doing stupid stuff with my time. I can so often just waste time, and I would rather be productive.

Easing back into the ebay world. Trying to sell a few things.

7:10pm: The week ahead,
My sale at my shop was good....not great, but good. it got some traffic, had some fun, and helped me get a little sorted, which is something I really needed to do.

So now I am ready to start the week and get stuff listed on ebay (be on the lookout for vintage barbie, and other interesting things). Let's hope things are going great, as I am needing to make bucks to bail myself out, as well as others.....It's amazing what you can amass as far as debt in a short time when you are not actively bringing in income.

But hopefully we'll be mending this situation.

yesterday I was revived with my "creative side"....suppressed for about a year, i have been working on some personal sewing projects and some photography......

11:06pm: Reclaiming the life.....
My entire last week was an adjustment. What does one do when you get rid of about 25 hours of responsibility a week. I don't have anyone to answer to, but myself.

This is good, but also taking some getting used to.....Self motivation has never been my forte, however, i am getting better at it. This week has been getting back into the swim of things, getting motivated and having the knowledge that what I do now, totally benefits myself and my business. Its wonderful knowing that I don't have to work all day, go home and work more on the computer, then not sleep wondering if the morons I was working with were paying attention. Rest is a good thing. A much needed thing. Sometimes we do what we have to to make things work, sometimes we don't do what we have to do just to survive.

I have finally got my computer fixed, it's now officially working so I can return to my brisk ebay duties....Hoping to make some much needed cash....

I cant believe the week is 1/2 over. Wow....

9:58am: Insanity
I have discovered that I do have some morals and a low tolerance for stupid.

*please do not ask me to lie for no other reason to lie.
*please do not ask me not to communicate with people who are in place to assist me.
*please do not lie to me and then claim to be Holy.
*Denial of something that you have told me does not change the truth.
*setting me up, so you can later use something against me is never a good idea.

So based on the above statements, I have resigned my position. Though it was an appointed "Volunteer" position, It required about 20 hours a week of attention, work, phone calls,and grief.

I feel Like I have regained my life.

What a relief.

9:49am: Today
Today I have decided to rid myself of the drama. It was so apparent yesterday that this crap not only affects me, but my friends, family, work, business, life etc....so I have decided to reclaim "me" and take care of "me".

In doing this, I will probably suffer some disparaging, but alas, I no longer care. I like me.

11:34am: High Drama
I loathe drama...it sucks! I hate when people are just creating and feuling it. It sucks sucks sucks.

11:19am: The end of the cold....
The cold is coming to an end...>Thank goodness. My last week of vegging and not doing much is coming to an end as I am seeing the need to get active on a few things, not that i am really behind on much, but I am just not motivated.

I spent last week resting/organizing, an taking it easy....I really had not given myself permission to do that in a while as I always feel guilty for "not working", but I also knew that if I didn't rest, I'd probably end up being even more sick.

So finally I am feeling caught up on some stuff...The Irony of "taking it easy" and feeling a sense of accomplishment is quite enchanting.

So, This weekend I did a little sewing, Momoko has a new dress and a felt cape that I made with a tiny scrap of wool felt. Will be updating my Flickr site soon.

B

8:12pm: Drats, a cold
I am suffering from a dreaded cold, but as much as I hate to have a cold, I'd rather it be this, than something worse......so I am taking it easy this week. next week I am sure I will be dreadfully busy.

But until then, I am relaxing a bit, focusing on my shop and straightening it up, a chore I have been putting off.

I spent a few minutes thinking about some projects that I want to do....seems lately I buy lots of fabric, trim and notions and never put it to good use. So I am getting closer to actually using it. (Photocopying patterns and preparing now).

The shop was a bit busy today. Repair work, and sales...YAY! Love days like this.

11:52am: Whew....glad that's over.
Last week was, uh, well, a bit challenging. With my Gal Pal Carlota zooming back to California, i reflected a bit at where I was emotionally. I am going to miss Carlota a lot....Though I am wishing her the absolute best and know this is the best move for her, my selfishness, and the knowledge that I won't see her for lunch anytime soon, makes my heart hurt. I know we'll be in touch, and get together soon enough, but it sort of dug up some of my own emotional damages and so I am sort of "looking" over some of my stuff. The phone call from my "former friend who joined a cult"'s mother was really what started this, but I digress. I'll be Ok, promise.

Prepping for the Doll show, Driving there, then setting up etc etc etc was easy...but exhausting. Glad to have made it home safe and slept late. My brother that went with us (also his wife, and kids) was the biggest Challenge. Jen, is a brilliant helper at a show, she knows how to handle it. Clint was like having an extra kid there.....he needed to be entertained. So I am so glad that show is over...now I know for future who not to take.

but the week was full of ups and downs....needless to say, I am glad it's over and ready for the new week.

10:54pm: WTF
I got a phone call from my "friends" mom letting me know she had moved. I knew this because I go an obligatory phone call from her before she did it.... I simply adore these bozo's who NEVER call you, NEVER visit you, NEVER write, NEVER email.....and if for some reason you don't stay in touch with them, well, it's your fault.

It amazes me the little amount of effort it takes to stay in touch with someone. I have friends around the planet, some I haven't seen in years, but thanks to this little thing called the internet I can stay in touch very easily. I guess some people haven't figured it out.

Once again, I loathe stupid people.

I'm in a bit of a funny mood....One friend leaving for the west coast, one friend leaving her husband, one friend dealing with a world full of trouble....and then there is me.....Too much to do, too blonde to do it all.

Which reminds me...I'm blonder today, Thanks to my friend that's leaving her husband. Highlights are wonderful.

10:37pm: Ugggggggg
Today as I left the office Cho-cho took off jerking the leash from my hand and causing me to drop what I was carrying......My camera took a tumble. It broke the battery door off, but I think chris can fix. I'm hoping, as I love the camera and really don't want to invest in buying a new one at the moment, Too much else to have to buy.

It's just very frustrating when this happens. I want to blame someone, but I guess I should only blame my myself.

On a better note, we had lunch with Carlota.....I'm proud of her, because she just landed the most fabulous job (and you know she had some competition in this current state of affairs) and the only problem is that she will be back on the west coast. I'm sad to see her move, but I know that it won't be long until I see her! (I'll be in CA in January and probably May) so already making plans.

11:54pm: TGIF
This week was stressful. What I have discovered is that one crazy apple spoils the bunch. You have 12 sane apples trying to figure out the crazy apple. Which means 12 conversations about the crazy one, 12 hours a day wasted discussing what we are going to do with the crazy apple. This apple is rotten, and needs to go.

But I am so glad it's friday. I spent the evening having dinner with a friend, relaxing a bit and then doing some online shopping. (Should have been shopping for shoes and fall clothing) but alas, I bought more dolls. I just have to list more stuff to sell on Sunday...ebay look out here I come.

Today, being the anniversary of 9/11 also gives me a moment to reflect, and implore you to stay in touch with the ones you love.

It's important.

11:12pm: Labor day, labor in general
This was Labor Day weekend, so I took off friday and monday. On friday I traveled to Hillsville Virginia for a big flea market that happens annually. I had decided not to go, simply because "it's not as good as it used to be" "I don't find anything anymore" and "it's so much work"...with it being in the Mountains of Virginia, there is a tremendous amount of walking up hills etc....But my sis-in-law asked me to go and so I went. I was a bit lucky as I found some fun vintage Barbie stuff.>Some sewing supplies and some vintage fabric. Things I didn't buy were vintage Sears catalogs from the 60's (i would have had to carry them for miles and the weight....ugh) So I felt like it was worth taking the day off.

Saturday I visited my gal pal Liz in Virginia. Chris went with me for this day trip and we literally spent the day with her. We met her new pal "Tiff" and discovered that Liz is now active in the local community theater. Very fitting for her as she has wanted to dabble in this for years. Her firt play is in November.

The rest of the weekend was with my family, stressful, annoying and full of things that needed to have happened and didn't. But I am dealing. My dream of a clean house at this moment apparently was just that......a dream. I did make some accomplishments, but there was literally too much to do. Well, maybe this weekend.

It has to be soon.

11:44pm: The fast week
I can't believe that tomorrow is Friday...where did this week go? I must be old, time is flying. This week was full of accomplishments, but still I am feeling chaotic and disorganized. My plan for the weekend (since it's a long holiday weekend for us here in the US) is to visit friend one day, visit family one day, and take the final day to organize the house and clean. One more week and I practically could be living at Gray Gardens (sans cat food cans).

My doll club started back this evening, we don't meet during the summer....The program, good, the annoyances large, I'll just roll my eyes for now.

It's been cool this week...Highs in the 80 degree level..breezy, pleasant, I love this kind of weather...It' makes me motivated and creative.

Things are going good...let's keep it going in that direction.

9:09am: To do
Every morning I have been making my "to do" list....every evening there are two or three things left on the list...they carry over. I have way to much to do. Planning a convention, running a shop, trying to be creative, writing, I need to accomplish and finish something and regain some sanity.

Pretty much what I have to isn't that duanting. What's daunting is dealing with the many personalities, politics, and divas that I have to....All annoying just for the sake of being annoying. I want to tell them all to get stuffed, but at present, not the best ideas.

I am going to be "unloading" a few things from my schedule. My current involvement with the Museum in High Point has been a bit challenging as in distance and in future. The lack of funding is at a frightening scale and I think maybe cutting my ties and running before it's gone may be a good move. The level of committment based on the level of exposure is horribly out of balance.

On a better note, the article for Doll news is completed, and sent off. Look for it in december.

10:57pm: On Moving, and moving on...........
We moved into our new space in April. I have worked pretty hard to get my shop to something resembling a shop and it's getting there. Still a long way to go.

We worked Three months to get the shop ready. 7 days a week, 15-16 hour days. It was exhausting. Once we did this, we sort of stopped. Well, we didn't stay focused on getting all the crap out of the old space, mainly because we really didn't have to instantly, so we felt we had time. Then I got busy traveling and I could never spare the time to do it, and now we are HAVING to get out.

So I spent the day getting rid of junk, cleaning out, boxing up etc. It's sad, i'm throwing away stuff I may regret, simply because I don't have space, don't know what I will do with it, or know I will never use it. And for the most part it's junk.....But I have a hard time throwing stuff away. I need to work on that.

As the old store became empty, it made me sort of nostalgic.....I've spent so much time here, Chris had just moved in here when we met, so it's full of memories. But i had to stay focused.

Thank God that clint and jennifer came to help me out or I would have never got anything accomplished.

Now I have to get back to work.....

9:04pm: Accomplishment...............
I love when something that I have been planning works out. Everything works out, effort is worth while, the sense of accomplishment is very intoxicating. It makes me want to work harder to get everything done, everything going.

Sometimes whenever things just fall into place and they work out, I think it's luck. Good timing and maybe a dash of a higher power. Friends also push, and make sure we achieve our goals.

I WORKED all weekend to get ready for the open house, and my sewing class. Both were great. Relaxing this evening is special. I feel ever so slightly ahead of the game.

10:51pm: Motivation
So last week was supposed to be all about getting back to work, getting back into the swing of things, accomplishing stuff.

I didn't.

This week is off to a pretty lame start. So I guess I am feeling overwhelmed so I have made a list of things to accomplish by weeks end. I have a little to much to do with getting ready for the open house, cleaning out the old store etc. Hopefully cleaning out the old store can be productive for the open house as it should reveal inventory which is always good to have.

I had dinner at my new favorite place in Chapel hill, Carmines. I love Italian food. Carlota was my dining companion and as usual it was great to spend time with her. I'm soooo glad she's back in NC.

She rocks.

10:44pm: A drive home
We drove home from the beach today...it rained some, but it was sunny part of the way. At sunset, the sky reminded me of being young, and playing outdoors after dinner until the sun was setting. I remember it very vidily.....the colors, the scents, climbing trees. My youth was somewhat bliss.

As an adult the summer doesn't have the same meaning to me as it did as a kid. I guess I kind of mourned that passing and reality today. Summers meant such freedom. We should have summers with real jobs. A good 2 months away.

The family reunion that I attended marked the end of my official summer duties. I now get about a month of "obligation-less" time. No convention, no shows, not a lot of travel. I plan on making the most of this.

I will have my doll shop open house next saturday, so my week will be spent planning this...it's different when what you are doing directly impacts you and not planning stuff for a 1000 people. It means more.

~sigh~